You know what I hate?
I hate it when when women who are a couple of years older than I am diminish my abilities as a parent! It happens to me all the time. I was 24 when we had our first. My husband is 10 years older and he was ready. I had friends who had been dealing with infertility for years so I truly thought it would take at least a year to have a baby. Well, it did not! 21 days later I had double lines and my life changed forever.
I was used to this "you are too young to be a mother attitude with my first, but now being 31 with my second I am (frankly) getting pissed at this attitude that I am inexperienced and even unfit to be a mom because I am perceived as the young Mom.
I sat through a dinner tonight listening to dig after dig from a mom who is married to a Dr. who stays at home with her 4 kids. She is a whopping 5 years older than I am. I knew it was coming and then my friend who is her age said "you know she is just 31". The other lady laughed "Ha" she said you have no idea"! No idea about what exactly? I have 2 kids, run a business and yes I am fucking 31,sue me!
This is what fuels Angry working Mom! It's the pain in the ass Moms who think that they know more than you because they are (wait for this) 5 years older than you. Seriously!? I guess I kick your ass because I run a business and you stay home? That is just as absurd!
I am so over all the Moms that think because of what ever reason they have a right to judge other moms! Hey lady: "Screw you"!
She also managed to ask how the two of us knew each other with my friend living in the super duper expensive section of our town and I living in (gasp) the just kind of pricey area. She said it just like that "How do you know each other living in such different neighborhoods"? Really? We live across the street from each other.
OK..just out of full disclosure there were several margaritas served at this dinner! I am typing after 3 so please forgive my grammar! Oh and I am still taking care of 2 kids, running a business and yes I am still just 31!
And if you became a stay at home mom, some other segment of people would try to make you feel bad. I wish I knew why society conspires to make women feel crappy, but it happens all the time. We try hard to ignore the judgement of other people and be happy with our own (and very personal) decisions.
Posted by: Jon | Apr 25, 2010 at 18:27
People judge me because I punch my kids in the face and give them benedryl to knock them out! I know! Right!! How dare they! I am joking with you. But I do Twitter about hitting my kids and giving them benedryl. I like to shock ppl with my kidding. :P
Posted by: Peggy Sue Brister | Apr 25, 2010 at 18:36
Its ok im 27 and fixing to have my 3rd baby but this will be our 4th kid!! i stay at home but i run my own buisness!screw ppl that act leik u dont know what your doing!!!
Posted by: bree | Apr 25, 2010 at 19:08
Jon-
You are absolutely right! It's a tough crowd! I have never seen such judgment until you get in front of a group of Moms (and I deal with department of Defense for a living)!
Posted by: angryworkingmom | Apr 25, 2010 at 19:34
Bree- Rock on! I admire you! I was a chicken! It took me 6 years to do it again! You go girl!!!!
Posted by: angryworkingmom | Apr 25, 2010 at 19:35
Sue- I love your humor! I am falling over laughing!!!
Posted by: angryworkingmom | Apr 25, 2010 at 19:35
Sounds like they might've been a smidge jealous that you're younger. Maybe not. It's been my experience that most of the judgement thrown around stems from some sort if insecurity. You may be "only 31", but it seems you know that it's SO NOT about age. Most of my parenting advice comes from my friend who us younger that I am, but had a 5yo & 2yo by the time I had my first.
I do wish moms would quit slamming on other moms. It's a tough job and we all have to approach it differently.
Posted by: Will Blog for Showz | Apr 26, 2010 at 08:01
WB4S- Im not sure what the deal is - maybe its jealousy - I dont know. It gets really old (no pun intended)!
I just cant get over that Im not 13, geez people. My fave part is that she managed to slam where I live as well ;)
I did manage to say well youve got a few years on me so maybe when Im your age Ill live in your neighborhood.
Posted by: AWM | Apr 26, 2010 at 08:09
This is why people are only meant to socialize over the interwebz. Conversing in "real" life can only end badly. People say such stupid shit. But seriously, when you're older, you'll totally get what I'm talking about.
Posted by: Kami | Apr 26, 2010 at 10:59
Kami- you are such a delicious smart ass! Love, love love it!
Posted by: AWM | Apr 26, 2010 at 12:23
Bascially there are those in life who have to be better than, smarter than, and always right. She sounds like one of them. I am 42 and still feel at a loss as a parent, a teacher, a friend, and even a human being. I have become a better teacher because YOUNGER teachers have challenged me to change my thinking. I am a better person because my YOUNGER students have taught me some of life's most impportant lessons. Next time Ms. Wonderful says, You will never know, look her dead in the eye and say, "Frankly My Dear, I do know. I am living the dream. What makes you so special?" That will shut her up. ;-)
Posted by: LadyWanderlust | Apr 27, 2010 at 17:30
LadyWanderlust-
Thank you, thank you, thank you for that comment!
Posted by: angryworkingmom | Apr 27, 2010 at 18:12
Oh Darling! Thank God you have all that energy, cuz I'm an old Mommy and I am TIRED! So by the time you are my age, you are going to be foot loose and fancy free, but you can come to Palm Springs and push me around in my wheelchair!!! (I may be old but I'm a hell of a lot of fun, dammit!!!!) Kisses!
Posted by: Dee Dee | May 14, 2010 at 12:23
Dee- I think we would have one hell of a time! And the best part us that I know you would have that wheelchair blinged out and would rock even better shoes because you wouldnt have to worry about walking in them!
Thanks for visiting!
Kisses!
AWM!
Posted by: AWM | May 14, 2010 at 12:32