Angry Working Mom

Guilt

No one knows guilt like the working Mom. A whore in church has nothing on this Mom. It's something that we try to push back and not think about but it's always there chomping at the bit to bring even the strongest to their knees.

There are too many stories to share. It's an every day occurrence. My 1 YO is well one and you think whoa, this has flown past and I wasn't there for every single second of it. My 6 YO says Mom are you coming to field day? Well honey let me check the almighty calendar..No, I'll be in DC on field day.

From the over compensating weekend craft-a-poo-looza to the over the top parties I throw for the neighborhood kids it's all about guilt; so when I heard the following my heart melted and I had an all time low moment.

I over heard a Mom talking about my kid. First I normally would have flown in to "Momma bear" mode and taken the Bee-yatch down but this time she was really talking about me. The conversation went something like this: "Are you inviting (my kiddo) to the party"? Well my daughter asked me to but no I'm not. The other lady: "Why not"? Well her Mom works..oh yea the other woman says back. She was referring to the logistics of pick up etc and how I couldn't make a 3:30 play date happen.

This 1st really pissed me off, but after that it made me think. I am being judged in a way I had never even known about and it was hitting me in nads. The thing is this: I can't do anything about this. I can't fix this and I can't change it. It is what it is. 

So as a working Mom with aforementioned self-imposed guilt trips galore I just go on, do the best I can, know that I am working (it's not like I put my kids in daycare to go to lunch or play tennis) and make our reality the best that it can be.

You know what I hate...?

You know what I hate?

I hate it when when women who are a couple of years older than I am diminish my abilities as a parent! It happens to me all the time. I was 24 when we had our first. My husband is 10 years older and he was ready. I had friends who had been dealing with infertility for years so I truly thought it would take at least a year to have a baby. Well, it did not! 21 days later I had double lines and my life changed forever.

I was used to this "you are too young to be a mother attitude with my first, but now being 31 with my second I am (frankly) getting pissed at this attitude that I am inexperienced and even unfit to be a mom because I am perceived as the young Mom.

I sat through a dinner tonight listening to dig after dig from a mom who is married to a Dr. who stays at home with her 4 kids. She is a whopping 5 years older than I am.  I knew it was coming and then my friend who is her age said "you know she is just 31". The other lady laughed "Ha" she said  you have no idea"! No idea about what exactly? I have 2 kids, run a business and yes I am fucking 31,sue me!

This is what fuels Angry working Mom! It's the pain in the ass Moms who think that they know more than you because they are (wait for this) 5 years older than you. Seriously!? I guess I kick your ass because I run a business and you stay home? That is just as absurd! 

I am so over all the Moms that think because of what ever reason they have a right to judge other moms! Hey lady: "Screw you"!

She also managed to ask how the two of us knew each other with my friend living in the super duper expensive section of our town and I living in (gasp) the just kind of pricey area. She said it just like that "How do you know each other living in such different neighborhoods"? Really? We live across the street from each other.

OK..just out of full disclosure there were several margaritas served at this dinner! I am typing after 3 so please forgive my grammar! Oh and I am still taking care of 2 kids, running a business and yes I am still just 31!

Recycling! This Mom is doing her part for Earth Day!

So I'm doing my part for Earth Day and recycling (an old post). What!? It's one of my favorites, it ticked my husband off and fired up a whole lot of other wives who's kids would stink too! Besides I've been working for about 1000 hours straight now and I am less than lucid!
 

What the hell is wrong with men? I am shocked over and over at how much women do versus their husbands. We all know it, we all complain about it, and yet it still remains.   The passive aggressive version of the man I married is getting to me. When I ask you to do something (he would argue that I “tell” - semantics), just tell me "I may half ass it, if I get around to it next Tuesday, maybe."  At least if you told me "Hey, screw you, I’m not going to do it," I would know that it’s not going to happen. My ignorance to reality lets me run down the path of thinking hey, he has all day, surely it will get done today. I just don’t get why men think that they don’t have to do anything that isn’t super F’n fun.   So, today I am living like I am a man, and if I were a man… 

• My kids would never have their hair washed (EVER). He just refuses this part of giving the kids a bath.

• I would have a beer with the boys whenever the hell I feel like it. 

• I would never screw with homework or reading with the kids.  Ah, they’ll figure it out.

•  I would leave in the morning as soon as the clock hit 7 no matter how much still needed to happen to get 2 kids out the door- oh, the wife has it. 

• I would have no freaking idea how to clean a tub, a floor, a cabinet, or a dish.  In fact, I would have no idea where a single cleaning product resides. 

• I have no idea what the kids eat. Hey, I might feed em’ but screw paying attention, I’ll just call the wife- she’ll know what to do. 

• To hell with yard work- that’s no fun. We’ll outsource that. 

• I would never wipe my ass or anyone else’s, because for the life of me, I can’t locate the industrial size container of toilet paper. (I’ve received multiple calls at work from the hubby looking for TP, which has been housed in the same utility closet since we moved to the house 6 years ago.) 

• The grocery store, what the hell is that?

•  Our bills- no idea, the wife handles that. 

• Taxes, huh, what do you mean? You have to file taxes? Seriously? Every year? No thanks!  Call my wife. 

• I’d drive a truck that doesn’t have room for a car seat..it doesn’t matter my wife picks up the baby (why do I need a car seat?). 

• Vacation plans? I’d show up, and most likely bitch about something that was planned, but hey as long as I can get a beer when we get there, I’m good.

•  I have no idea where, why or what about just about anything around the house and that’s the way I’d like it. 

• Oh, and I would scratch and fart with complete irreverence for my fellow house mates.

• And after my wife took care of all that crap and tumbled into bed exhausted, I'd still have the nerve to ask her if she wanted to get naked for me!
  

Ah, it's good to be the man . . . with a great wife!  

April Fools!

So I'm a little behind on posts (did I mention the super human Easter Egg Hunt I hosted)..

A little back story on my April Fool's Day prank: We never, ever do April Fool's day gags (ever). This year we have had a year from hell! Between the economy, the government buying GM = no job for my hubs, a new baby, well we will just stop there and say it's been less than fun. Things are actually brightening up. My husband has his old job back and is doing very well, my job has picked up dramatically and the kids are great so why not have a little fun! Oh boy!

I called my husband up to the bathroom in the mist of the morning shuffle (I thought it best to catch him when he was distracted). I simply called him into the bathroom and pointed at the counter top. Holding the coffee mug over my mouth so that he couldn't see me smiling like a hyena I pointed to a pregnancy test on the counter top and walked off. It was one of the digital ones that says "pregnant" so there was no mistaking the results. My very tanned husband turned white, bolted past me and said "It can't be" about 100 times. He freaked, I followed and he nearly passed out cold. I was trying to catch him to say April Fools! Finally I yelled down the hall "Honey, It's April Fools". He marched back towards me and said "Are you sure"? "Your NOT"? "I'm NOT", I said. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day until he text me about a huge meeting he had later in the day. He very elaborately set up a phone call where he let me over hear his boss fire him. Yep that's how we roll! Terrify the be-jesus out of each other!

I'm smarter than him and got it of course, but kudos honey! Oh and that pregnancy test was from the 1YO.

Holy Stripping Batman!

Can I just rant for a moment?

So I am in a business with all men..ALL men. I may get one or two ladies in the course of the year but that's definitely the exception not the rule. I travel all the freaking time and often have to set meetings on the fly. I use my handy, dandy iphone and boom! I am all knowledgeable about whatever city I am in that day. So here goes my crazy happening for the day that prompted this rant..

If you are going to be strip club in the middle of a really nice area PLEASE, PLEASE do two things. A) name yourself something that indicates that you are in fact a place where naked people will be twirling around a shiny gold apparatus and B) please don't confuse us with categorizing yourself as a restaurant just because you do in fact have some sort of food offering next to the Cristal on the menu.

Just picture:

Hi Mr. CEO of 3 billion dollar defense firm..thank you for finally accepting my meeting invite. I am very much looking forward to taking you to a swanky dinner and hammering out details of our upcoming joint venture. Where would you like to go? ME: I called XYZ's restaurant, and Tokyo's- they both have a reservation for tomorrow night. Would either work?

Response: "Well Tokyo's is a strip club..they do have food there but I think we would be safer at the other place. They have a great fillet..."

Oh my GAWD.. Blushing lady say what??

So to all the strip clubs out there: Please name yourself appropriately. Candies cabaret, The Booby trap..we get it, but to call your self Tokyo's and say that you serve upscale sushi..well, that's just wrong on more levels than I can count!

PS..true story..I still haven't recovered!